The Top 5 Mistakes Divorced Parents Make

1. Don't make your child the messenger ...     

"Too many parents attempt to communicate through their children," Neuman says, "which causes undue emotional stress on them and forces them to negotiate a situation their own parents could not handle.  Email is an excellent tool nowadays to communicate with your ex-spouse. It allows you to specifically discuss the practicalities of raising your child without detouring into negative areas and opening old wounds. It also provides a recorded message, admissible into court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.

"If you want or need to speak with your ex over the phone or in person, be focused and stay on task, and most important, don't swallow the bait if he or she descends into anger. Simply say, 'I appreciate your feelings, but I am here to discuss our child's school assignment.' Take the high road. Your child's emotional health depends on it."

2. ... or your therapist.     

"Teenagers like to feel in control, and divorce turns their world upside down," Neuman says. "Don't fall into the trap of sharing divorce details or your angry feelings about your ex with your older kids. Their own anxiety and need for control causes them to be 'understanding' of what you're going through, but you need to be the parent. Get outside help for yourself, get therapy if necessary, and maintain those boundaries. Making your child your cohort is wrong and does them damage."

3. Try to "get" your kid.

"Kids need to feel as if they are understood," Neuman says, and after a divorce their feelings may be in turmoil. "Listen to them. Don't tell them what to think. And it might be difficult, but never criticize your ex -- it's a criticism of your child, who, of course, is 50% of your ex-husband or wife. Respond specifically to what they are telling you. Say, 'It sounds like you are feeling sad/mad/upset about meeting your dad's new girlfriend, is that right?' As a parent, you don't have to have a solution. You just need to hear them.

"And don't editorialize. You can suggest your child write down his feelings and share them with your ex, but only if the child wants to do so. Stay trained on your child's feelings, not yours. Healing comes through a loving connection and from feeling understood."

4. Avoid the third degree.

"I tell parents to treat their child's weekend away with their ex-spouse as if the child has just visited an aunt or uncle," Neuman says. "Saying nothing will leave your child stressed, as if he must compartmentalize both worlds and tiptoe around this other experience. On the other hand, grilling the child puts him squarely in the middle, which is an impossible position emotionally. So ask your kid fun and general questions, which diffuses tension. And then let it go."

5. Repair the damage you've already done.

Many divorced parents reading these tips may recognize mistakes they've unintentionally made with their own kids. Is it ever too late to undo emotional fall-out from a nasty split? "No, children are remarkably forgiving," Neuman says, "at least until they reach their later teen years, when anger may be more cemented. If you've made mistakes, it's important to do the following:

    Apologize for them. Saying you're sorry goes a long way with your kids.
    Explain in detail exactly what you've done wrong, and then commit to changing your behavior from that moment on.
    Give your child a safe and specific signal -- for example, tell your child to raise his or her hand when you begin criticizing your ex -- which serves as a time-out for you, telling you in no uncertain terms you're doing it again and need to stop immediately."

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How to Feel Pretty

You are the only one who can decide you are truly pretty. All it takes is a change in your thinking and a boost in confidence and self-esteem. And yes, it is easier said than done.

 Being Pretty on the Inside 

1 Understand your own prettiness. This is the most important step for feeling pretty. You have to understand that your beauty comes from you, not from any outside source. But you have to practice feeling this way.

    Write a list of of all the good things about yourself. This includes things like helping someone carry their groceries, listening to a friend, or being the best at puns.

    Every morning, when you wake up, go to the bathroom mirror, smile at yourself and say aloud "I am awesome" and "I am happy." The more you say it the more you will convince your brain that it is true.

    Write a list of things you think are beautiful about yourself. Maybe you have big brown eyes, a cute nose, or full lips, or a great laugh. If you can't think of any, ask a trusted friend or family member.

    When you start having negative thoughts about yourself, remember your lists.

2 Stop negativity in its tracks. Negative thoughts cause our brain to believe the negativity. If we think we're

ugly, our brain will be convinced of that. You have to convince your brain that those thoughts aren't true.[1]

    When you start to have a negative thought, label it as such. Example: "My nose is hideous." Say to yourself: "I'm having a thought that my nose is hideous." It makes it so that thought isn't you.
    Let the negative thoughts go. You are not your thoughts, but they can be extremely harmful to your self esteem.
    Replace the negative thought with a positive thought. Even if you don't believe the positive thought, you can trick your brain into believing it.

3 Build your self confidence. Everyone has good qualities, both inside and outside, but it's important to

realize that people are more than their outer appearance. It's great to admire people (and yourself!) for their physical attractiveness, but it's even better to look at what's on the inside. There will always be someone prettier, more successful, with more romantic partners.

    Don't judge yourself so harshly. You are your own worst enemy. Give yourself the freedom to have days where you don't feel attractive. Confidence is about trusting in yourself even on days where you don't feel like it.
    Don't judge other people. What you think about other people says a lot about you. Try to think positive, kind thoughts towards others. It will affect your positivity towards yourself.
    Don't compare yourself to others. This will only cause you to lose confidence in yourself. Besides, that person with the perfect hair might be leading a very difficult life in other respects.
    Fake it until you make it. You can trick your brain into being confident if you fake confidence. Act like you already know you're pretty and you will start to believe it.
    Don't feel as though you have to have a romantic partner to be worthwhile. Your self-worth and your confidence rely on you and only you. If you place too much self-worth control in the hands of other people, you won't learn true confidence.
    Indulge yourself in a selfie. You control the picture and you can make it so it emphasizes your most attractive features. When you're feeling less confident, pull it out and remind yourself that you are pretty!

 

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How to Draw Attention to Yourself

Do you want to stand out in the crowd? Make a name for yourself? Get noticed? Let's face it, just about everybody loves attention, and getting noticed can have real benefits: getting that girl (or guy) you're interested in, getting a job, or even becoming a star, for example. Why, then, does "proper" society tend to frown on drawing attention to oneself? Put simply, not all attention is equal, and people who try to draw attention to themselves often do it in unpleasant ways--think of a screaming toddler, for instance. While certain showbiz types like to say that any publicity is good publicity, you'll generally only benefit from positive attention, and drawing that kind of attention to yourself requires a little patience, thought and tact.

Steps

1 Think of when they think of you, and it requires time and consistency to build a brand. Say you're at a new school and you want to make friends. Your brand then, should include characteristics like loyalty, friendliness, and fun. Do things that build this brand and make you a more appealing potential friend. Other examples of brands include the "bad-boy image." Be careful, though, or you'll look like you're trying too hard.

2 Be original. Looking at the stereotypical brands mentioned in the last step, you may think, none of those are really what I want. That's perfectly all right. You can brand yourself as pretty much anything, and whatever your brand, it should reflect your personality and original style. If you're the same as everyone else, you won't draw attention. Just remember, once again, that if you're obviously just trying to get attention, that will be your brand.

3 Be outstanding. When we think of the word "outstanding," we usually think of excellence, but being outstanding also means to "stand out." If you want to stand out, do your best to be the best at something. If you want to draw the attention of your spouse, for example, be the best husband or wife you can be. If you want to get a better job, be extraordinarily competent in your current job and seek to learn more to advance your career. You don't always have to be outstanding at something that's directly related to your goal. For example, you'll find that people who are very successful in whatever pursuit they choose in life often draw the attention of, or date, beautiful women or good-looking guys, even if their particular field of excellence has nothing to do with being a good mate. If you're outstanding at something, just about anything, you'll draw people's attention.

4 Be subtle. A patient, subtle approach is important in developing your image because if you look like you're trying too hard to draw attention, you'll simply end up branding yourself as someone who craves attention, which is generally not a desirable attribute. As an example, imagine you want to get attention in order to make friends. If you stand on your head and insult people, you'll likely get attention for a little while, but you probably won't make friends--everybody will know you're just desperate for attention. On the other hand, if you draw attention to yourself by wearing a smile, making a conversation with people, or joining a sports team, you'll build a more positive brand and get more attention in the long run. 

5 Be humble. Be outstanding, be confident, be assertive, but don't be arrogant. Even if you truly excel at just about everything, people will try to tune you out--or even resent you--if you are a jerk. Don't tell people how awesome you are, show them, and don't make a big deal out of it. Don't blow your own horn too much. 

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How to Buy a Well Fitting Bra

A bra is something that we often take for granted, but finding the right bra can do wonders for both your appearance and self esteem. It may take time to find the right bra for you, but remember: you’re worth it. Here’s a guide to finding the right bra for you.

Using the Proper Fitting Technique

1 Hook the bra at your waist, then pull up only in the front. Lift the front up as high as it will go, without sliding over the front of your breasts.

    This will make sure the back stays low, for proper support.
    This will make sure you get lift in front, where you want it.

2 Lean forward and smooth all the soft tissue forward. Start from just behind your armpits, and push as much as you can into the cup.

    Breast tissue is soft, and if your bra fits properly, should stay where you put it.
    Grasp the front of the bra and jiggle slightly to settle everything into place.
3 Know how high on your chest your breasts should end up. With a properly fitted bra, the apex of your breasts should be approximately halfway between your elbow and your shoulder. 

4 Don’t over tighten the closures or straps. Doing so can make the bra uncomfortable, and this can affect your mood and posture.

    Never tighten the straps so much that they put pressure on your shoulders. This will cause you to slouch forward.
    Never tighten the straps so they pull the bra up at the back. Keeping the back low is important for adequate support in front.
    When buying a bra, hook into the loops at the very end of the band. This gives you a way to tighten the bra as it stretches out over time.

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Home Remedies for Sore Throat

Sore throat is an inflammation of the pharynx, which is the tube that extends from the back of the mouth to the esophagus. Some of the major causes of sore throat are viral infection, bacterial infection, fungal infection, pollution, smoking, acid reflux, dry air, excessive shouting, some kind of allergic reaction and so on. Symptoms of sore throat are much like those of a viral infection and is often accompanied by headache, stomachache, common cold and swollen glands in the neck.
One of the best ways to get relief from sore throat is to gargle with salt water. Salt works like an antiseptic and helps to draw water out of mucous membranes in the throat. This cuts phlegm and reduces inflammation and gives you instant relief. Take half teaspoon of salt in a glass of warm water and then use this water to gargle. Do not swallow the water as you need to spit the water out after gargling. If you do not like the salty taste, add a small amount of honey to the solution. You must gargle with saltwater at least four times a day to improve the condition of your throat.
Honey is also one of the easily available ingredients that can be used to treat sore throat. Honey has antibacterial properties, which can fasten up the healing process. At the same time honey works like a hypertonic osmotic, this means that it helps to draw water out of inflamed tissue and thus reducing the swelling and inflammation. Add one to two tablespoon of honey to one cup of hot water and drink it several times a day. You can also add honey to your favorite cup of herbal tea. Before going to bed eat one teaspoon of honey as it will give you soothing relief and help you to enjoy sound sleep

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Home Remedies for Black Spots on Your Face

Many black spots or dark patches can be easily lightened or eliminated to restore a glowing facial complexion. Dark spots, patches and other marks on the face may be due to excess secretion of melanin on the skin. Some factors that can lead to this condition include over exposure to the sun, hormone imbalance, pregnancy, certain medications, vitamin deficiencies, lack of sleep and too much stress.

Spots and patches on the face can be embarrassing and even lead to low self-esteem. Luckily, there are many possible treatments, such as acid peels and laser surgeries. Simple, natural homemade remedies also may reduce the appearance of spots and other blemishes on your face.
A quick and easy solution can be found in your kitchen or your nearest grocery store — lemon juice. Lemons have vitamin C that can lighten dark spots on your face. It’s easy to apply.

    Put some fresh lemon juice on a cotton ball and rub it directly on the affected skin area.
    Allow it to dry and then wash it off with plain water.
    Continue applying this dark spot removal home remedy for at least two weeks to get the desired result.

If you have delicate or sensitive skin, you can dilute the lemon juice with plain water, rosewater, or honey. You can also use lime juice to get rid of black spots, applying it in the same manner as described above.

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Appreciating Yourself

1 Live with the reality. Small breasts aren't the burden they may seem to you. For starters, not everyone loves large breasts. Indeed, it's an exaggeration that men only like women with large breasts––everyone has their own preference. Moreover, small breasts tend to hold up best over time, and gravity tends to be lot kinder to the small-breasted woman as you age; you'll sag a lot less than your big-breasted sister. As long as you are healthy, try to be happy with your body.
2 If you are a teen, your breasts may get larger naturally. It may seem like it will never happen, but it just might!

    There is many a teen girl who at 16 thinks her breasts will always be small, but finds out at 20 they are not. It just happens.
    You may find your breasts get larger and stay that way after pregnancy and breast feeding. It tends to be all over the map, some report breast sizes increase, some decrease, some decrease and then increase.
    Don't stuff your bras with toilet paper or tissues, it will not help. Use padding instead.
    To get bigger breasts, eat veggies, fruit, exercise your upper muscles (push-ups), and drink lots of water each day.
    Don't forget that breasts continue to grow until you're in your 20s. So, if you are young, you can estimate how much more you will grow by comparing the size of your breasts to the other women in your family. Also, even though there isn't an ideal breast size, losing weight might make your breasts look more "proportional" to your body.
    Playing or squeezing your breasts have no effect on breast growth. You can't change genetics by squeezing parts.
    If you are under 18, then they aren't done growing yet. Wait until you are fully grown before deciding that you'll be small-breasted for life.
    Try a few different bra sizes until you find the one thats just right for you. You might also try to have it professionally fit.
    Make sure bra straps are tightened well and are not loose. Having tighter bra straps give a great lift.
    Once your bra is on, lift each breast into the cup with your hand. Your breasts will appear larger and lifted and the bra will be correctly encasing the breast tissue.
    Don't try and wear a bra that is too big for you. It will bunch up or it will make your boobs look saggy.
    If you wear fitted clothes (skinny jeans, tight shirts) it makes your breasts look bigger. You can also try wearing a push up bra, or a bra that's a little snug than your normal size.

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Wearing Clothes that Accentuate Your Size

1 Wear clothes with a detailed neckline. Lace, ruffles and jewels, gathered material, pleats, ruching and twists are some examples of neckline details that enhance breast size appearance. These sorts of details provide a visual boost and help to make the breasts appear larger. When wearing ruffles, be careful that they are not so big that they overpower the size of your breasts; this risks going the other direction and making them look smaller!

    Stay away from low V or low scoop necklines, as give the appearance of shrinking the size of your breasts. Instead, wear moderately high, asymmetrical, crew or gathered necklines. These are the most flattering for women with smaller breasts as they enhance their shape and make them appear bigger.
    Avoid wearing tight-fitting clothing. Obviously, such clothing reveals all––what is and what is not there. Loose, roomy tops and layers are a better choice when you don't want to draw attention to smaller breasts.

2 Use patterns and colors to your advantage. Appropriate patterns and colors can help to change the way the proportions of your body look. Generally, light colors make something look larger, and dark colors make something look slimmer:

    If you're wearing patterns or bright or light colors, then wear them on your torso, not your bottom half. Wear duller colors on your bottom half to help make your figure look more in proportion.
    Wear dark trousers and a top with horizontal stripes to make your hips appear narrower––your breasts will appear larger in comparison. The top should be in light colors.

3 As a last resort, use makeup to create the impression of larger breasts. Put a darker shade of foundation than your usual shade where you want shading to go to give the impression of cleavage. However, this is not recommended for everyday use since it could smudge and look odd. But, for photos, or for a special occasion, it may be worth giving a go. Don't rush it, you'll feel uncomfortable if somebody realizes that you've painted your cleavage on.

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Wearing Size Enhancing Bras

1 Wear the right bra size. Sadly, most women wear incorrect bra sizes because they've never been appropriately measured. The right bra should sit snugly beneath your breasts and cup all of the tissue closely, as well as making it easier for you to stand up straight. Measure your bra size yourself, or go in for a free professional fitting at a department store. (Don't feel shy about being professionally fitted––usually the ladies who do fittings are chosen for their warm and accepting demeanor. Remember, she's probably seen it all.)

    A bra that is too big, will look lumpy.
    Ditto for stuffing tissue or other things into your bra. Don't do it, it will look funny. If you want to put something into your bra, try one of the ot her methods below.

2 Know how to put on a bra correctly. Once you've been properly sized, check that you're putting on your bra in a way that will achieve maximum lift and comfort. Slip the straps over your arms, facing forward, so that the unhooked clasps are at your back. Bend over so that all of your breast tissue falls forward, and maneuver the bra over your breasts. Still bent over, reach back and clasp the bra. Adjust the band and straps as necessary. 

3  Push-up bras are designed to push your breasts up (as the name implies), and move the breasts closer together, creating more cleavage. They push the breasts up using padding usually made of foam. The best known brand for making push-up bras is Wonderbra. However, most lingerie stores supply some variety of push-up bra.
    Padded bras, like push-up bras, contain foam padding in the cups. They are designed to give fuller-looking breasts to small-chested women, but don't lift them or create extra cleavage.
    Gel, air or water padded bras are the same as padded bras but are designed to look and move more naturally, and to give a more noticeable enhancement. The only downside to these is that they often cost more money. Also, air padded bras often need the padding replaced as the air leaks out.
    Many women report good success from the Chicken Fillet silicone bra insert.

Wear bras that enhance your breasts. There are many options available, so the best way to work out what gives you your desired effect is to go and try lots of different types on. The following types of bras are the best for women wanting bigger breasts:

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